PAX

First I want to apologize for my grievous failure in not updating sooner. I'm certain that during the last two weeks I've forgotten some details from our trip to Assisi. I'll do my best though. To begin at the beginning we read the start and the end of The Life of St. Francis by St. Bonaventure. Just in reading that I started to get excited for the trip. I hadn't realized it but my dislike for St. Francis of Assisi Parish (ever since their stacked basketball team dominated the middle school basketball league) prevented me from really learning about this amazing Saint. This weekend would have been great even if all that happened was that I got over my mental block towards St. Francis.
After we checked in a few of us went and walked around Assisi. It was such a quaint little medieval town. I hadn't started to notice it yet but there is a peace there that is tangible it hangs in the air and seeps into every corner of the little town. The highlight probably had to be when we dropped into Chiese Nuovo, a beautiful little church that claims to stand on the birthplace of St. Francis. As we were in there looking around my roommate, Jared Rovny coughed and it and it boomed through the little church. I stopped as I was halfway out the door and was like wait a sec. I asked Blaise if he knew the Salve Regina as I turned around and went back into the church. So we went back in and sang one of the most amazing Salves I have ever heard sung by two of the most mediocre voices. The sound was incredible. It multiplied and filled the whole church as if an entire choir had joined us. Pretty cool. That night I went walking with a group led mainly by Catherine Lepel who has a real problem in that she seemed compelled to take every staircase we came too. Thus we were zigzagging all over Assisi (there are a TON of stairs in Assisi and I think I walked about all of them. lol.). We ended up on the hill above Assisi next to the Fortress. I distinctly remember being a little spooked. I've never had a real love for being out in the dark probably due to the times as a little kid I had to walk out into the pasture in the middle of the night to get cows in with the coyotes howling. It was windy and desolate up by the fortress and I know at one point I kind of got annoyed with myself being creeped out and prayed something like, "God take away all my fear except my fear of You" (This will be significant later). The next morning after breakfast (all the meals were incredible, like really delicious, by the end I was feeling a little torn to be eating such good food in a town so pervaded by the ascetic spirit of St. Francis.) we went to the Basilica of St. Francis for Western Theological Tradition class with Dr. Dawson Vasquez. This class in addition to what we'd read from the Life of St. Francis really enhanced the weekend because I had a grasp of what the spirit of St. Francis was which filled the town.
Now it starts to get good. Ha. After lunch we started the hike up to the hermitage of St. Francis which would be an incredible, transformative experience for me. It was a pretty difficult walk up a paved road into the mountain behind Assisi. When I reached the hermitage I realized how definitely worth it the hike had been. I remember touching the moss on one of the trees as we entered and being struck with the thought that the water on my fingers felt like Holy Water. That was just the spirit of the place though. If the town of Assisi was peaceful then this place, to which St. Francis came when he wanted to get away from Assisi and pray in solitude, was peaceful beyond all imagining. We walked through the little series of carved out rooms which contained the tiny cave in which St. Francis slept on the bare stone when he came there. If I was tasked with defining the word humble I would simply show a picture of this tiny cave with low narrow doors and a simple stone altar just large enough to hold a few people at a time and yet filled with the fullness God. It was impressive in a way that all the cathedrals and basilica's of Europe cannot begin to compare to. After that I walked a way on the little dirt paths that wind up the mountain next to the hermitage. Eventually I left the group I was walking with and just sat down on a rock on the side of the hill. I was thinking how full of the spirit of St. Francis this place was when I was struck by a thought. In Providence's immense goodness I realized that as a result of his life and sainthood, the spirit of St. Francis was the very spirit of God. I still can't really describe it but for probably one of the first times in my life I realized that I was completely in the presence of God. I can still see those simple unassuming trees moving in the breeze in front of me and I imagine I probably always will. After sitting there in awe for a while I walked back down to the hermitage because it was about time for mass. The rest of the weekend it was a bit of a challenge to restrain from singing every hymn I knew in praise of His goodness. As I was walking into mass one of our RA's, Mary, stopped the little group I was with and asked if anyone would like to serve or lector. I was almost to volunteer to read because I have always loved doing that for mass, when Mary asked me to serve. After I agreed to I realized that it had been a real example of obedience and as I served during mass it was with the knowledge that I was exactly where God wanted me to be doing exactly what he wanted me to do because I had said yes to His request through my RA. The gospel at mass also struck me. It was the story of the storm at sea when Christ was sleeping in the stern. After the apostles in their fear woke Jesus he rebuked them saying "Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?" What an answer to my prayer the night before on that hill overlooking Assisi and what call teaching us how to live our lives, with faith. As we were walking back down to Assisi that evening David Ringwald, one of my former roommates, mentioned how much he would love to be up at the hermitage at sunrise. Instantly, with out really thinking about how crazy it would be to wake up early enough to walk for an hour in the dark to get back up to the hermitage, I said yes. God wanted me there though, and inside myself there was something that knew without a doubt that I should go with David.
The next morning to my amazement I woke up immediately when my alarm went off just before 5 am. That never happens. I am so not a morning person and it normally takes a good number of snooze buttons before I can drag myself out of bed. But God had plans for me that morning. As we took off back up the mountain that morning in the dark it started to feel a little stupid because our legs were still really sore from hiking that way the day before. Knowing what lay at the end of the road helped though and we were making really good time. As we were taking one particularly dark and steep shortcut off the road something started to feel a little weird about the trail. When we got back up to the road we realized the strange stuff underfoot was snow! Overnight it had snowed on the mountain and there was about an inch of immaculate, untouched snow starting about halfway up. It was still really too dark to see much but just the pure presence of the snow left us both in awe. When we reached the gates of the hermitage about 6:30am in the predawn darkness we realized it didn't open until 7 and so we decided to say morning prayer under the little light at the gate. The setting was profound but the morning prayer from Liturgy of the Hours seemed to be coming directly from the mouth of God to us at that exact moment. I think David must have had his week and readings markers messed up because I have been completely unable to restructure it looking through my brievery. This incredible morning prayer reached it climax at the Canticle of Zechariah which was "Jesus rose early in the morning and went up to a quiet place to pray." All glory and praise to God. As the dawn slowly came, we started to realize in the gathering light just how stunning our surroundings were. It didn't even matter to us when the gates never opened at 7. We ended up going back down the mountain without ever going in but our joy was in no way diminished. As we were going down the mountain I asked David if I could have his brievery so that I could read the psalms as we were walking down, and he in turn asked me if I could read them aloud. So we walked down the mountain taking turns reading the psalms out of Office of the Readings. Between the morning prayer and the office I can recall some of the psalms that we prayed. Among them were: "Who can climb the Lord's mountain and stand in His holy place? The man with clean hands and a pure heart, who desires not worthless things" and "Grow higher ancient doors let Him enter the King of Glory (slightly ironic as the gates never opened) and "Come, let us climb the LORD'S mountain, to the house of the God of Jacob, That he may instruct us in his ways, and we may walk in his paths." As went down the mountain I felt like we were two heralds coming down from God's mountain proclaiming the Good News. As we rounded the last corner and Assisi came into view we marveled again at God's goodness because even though it had been around 30 minutes since dawn the sun was just starting to hit the clouds above Assisi coloring them rose. As we neared Assisi and looked back up the mountain I was in a bit of disbelief that only a few minutes ago we had truly been standing in God's holy place. How clearly Providence had willed for us to be there at exactly that point in time! God is so good!
It's probably easy to understand then how my entire semester since then has been changed by this amazing weekend. I'm still thinking about the lessons I learned about obedience, sacrifice, and above all His abounding love for us. Hope that despite the length, this post was half as enjoyable to read as it was to write. If nothing else it was so good for me to sit and recollect this profound movement of God in my life. Maybe take some time and think how He has been working in yours. And may the peace of God that surpasses all understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus!