To a Saint

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

JMJ+OBT

I was in mass when she passed away. I didn't hear the news for several more hours that my Grandma Butel had died. Her health had been steadily declining for the last several months between a heart condition and pulmonary fibrosis. Our family knew she didn't have much longer here but we weren't expecting it quite so soon. She went to the hospital on Tuesday night and my mom was able to go up and spend Wednesday night with her and another of her sisters. When mom left in the morning she told grandma that she loved her and grandma told mom that she loved her too. She passed away at 11:30am Kansas time. The oldest in the family Aunt Mary was there by her side during her last minutes. She said about seven minutes before grandma died her breathing changed and they knew she was going. About a minute before she died, my aunt said she opened her eyes wide and stared at the ceiling and her last word was "Mom."

I don't know what Grandma saw as she was dying but I know what kind of woman she was and that gives me every reason to believe that some members of the Church Triumphant could have come to take her home. She was everything you would think of when you think of a grandmother: kind, gentle, loving, maternal. She was a small beautiful old lady, with snow white curly hair. She could have easily been a bitter old woman. Her life had given her every excuse to be so. But for all the difficulty involved in raising 13 children on a poor Eastern Kansas dairy farm she had one of the most beautiful souls of anyone I have ever known. I think it was her faith that gave her the strength to be the person she was. She went to mass regularly and made her weekly adoration hour even up to week that she died. When she was in the hospital the first night one of my aunts was reading to her out of a book that she sometimes read before she went to bed. The passage was about how we are to be Christ to others. My aunt told her that was what she had been to all those around her and she responded, "That's what I was supposed to do."

I have lots of fond memories of Grandma like her apple crisp warm out of the oven covered in quickly melting homemade ice cream. Or coming back from Saturday night mass and having frozen pizzas (they never tasted quite as good anywhere else). Or playing seven point pitch with her and my little sister and my uncle. Or the last conversation I had with her in her kitchen before leaving for Rome when she told me how proud she was of all her grandchildren going off and doing things she never would have dreamed of when she was our age. Or the birthday cards we would get from her. We couldn't read her handwriting so mom would translate for us. There was never very much money with the cards and Christmas presents weren't extravagant (I don't know how they managed to do what they did with so many grandkids) but I'll always remember that at some point in the letter she would tell us we were in her prayers.

My memories of Grandma aren't "big" memories but I think that's because that's not the kind of person she was. She left her mark on the world not in big notable ways but rather in the little ways she showed all of us her love, in the quiet sacrifices she made for her kids and grandkids. The family that she raised and the times we spent with them will always be my most lasting memory of grandma. She was a simple woman, from a very simple background. She, along with my other grandparents left me an inheritance more lasting than any material gift. They left me their example, one of lives given to their families and neighbors through good, honest work; an example of simplicity, piety, and charity.

I hope my title was not too bold. I'm not sure that its completely theologically correct but if there is anyone I have know personally in my short life that deserves the title of saint it is her. I also want to say this because I like to think that in a small way I was able to be with her as she entered the eternal wedding feast. I didn't realize it until many hours later when I was able to talk to my mom but when grandma passed away at 11:30am in Kansas that was 6:30pm Rome time. On Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursday we have mass on campus that starts at 6pm. On Thursday we had a new priest who asked for intentions during the prayers of the faithful. It was the first time since I've been in Italy that I've been able to include Grandma in the intentions for the mass and as I prayed, "For my Grandma Butel as her health is declining" little did I know that, that she was literally in the last moments of her life. The consecration for the mass and the subsequent reception of communion would have been immediately as she was passing away. It adds new significance to one of my favorite phrases, "See you in the Eucharist."

May the perpetual Light shine upon her. Amen.