My Stock-tank Overfloweth

or "I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly. John 10:10"

or "You are the light of the world. Mt 5:14"


In typical procrastinator fashion I missed my two week goal, apologies, and its taken me almost a week to get on here and relate the immense blessings that God poured out last weekend. It seems strange to think that Crusader Awakening 4 is over. A significant portion of my semester has been spent preparing for the retreat. In fact, preparations began almost a year ago. I've been on a lot of retreats but this was maybe one of the craziest weekends ever. It started with a call from the head of the Human Resources Office at UD. About 30 minutes before we left for retreat, I got a call offering me the Rome Assistant position for next year. To put this in perspective for those outside the UD bubble this is basically like winning the lottery. Most years they have around 40 applicants, they interview 4, and take one. I was thrilled just to get an interview early last week but I could hardly believe what I was hearing over the phone when she told me that I had been selected. Blessed be God. There are no other words to describe it.

This was also an interesting way to start a retreat. After I stopped shaking, I helped load up and we headed out. Needless to say the joy thing wasn't an issue for me on the weekend. The fact that we'd even made it to the retreat was something of a minor miracle too though. There were points in the week before were I couldn't see how we were going to get all the logistics taken care of but I was never really that worried about it. I knew that through the Holy Spirit we'd somehow get it all done, if for no other reason than that we'd requested prayers from over 900 convents and monasteries all over the world during the fall semester. The Holy Spirit didn't disappoint.

The retreat itself was a beautiful experience. I don't think there could have been a better way to end my Crusader Awakening career. The staff I had the privilege of helping lead along with my awesome co-director Clare was incredible. About half were from UD and half were from other Awakening communities. It was such a blessing to be in a position to see how they all brought their various skills and talents and poured them out for the retreatants, how they loved them with everything they had. To see one young woman fight through her fears and master a leading role in a skit. To see one of the young men swallow his pride and lead us in a praise and worship session that could best be described as joyful noise because their was no one else who could do any better. To see another young man pour everything he had into a role in the skit showing the retreatants just how much their Savior loved them. To see all the manifold blessings that God had brought to this retreat in the love that these staffers bore for candidates, many of whom they'd never met was simply amazing.

Finally though, for me personally one of the most beautiful parts of the retreat had to do with a prayer I'd prayed the week before. Coming back from Spring break I'd been struggling with a lack of motivation and a few habitual shortcomings. I became really frustrated with myself because I knew my sloth and laziness were preventing me from being able to give myself for the retreatants by doing a good job preparing logistically and spiritually for the retreat. In my frustration, mired in sin, I remember praying to God, "I just want to live." To live as the person I was truly meant to be, zealously, intentionally, full of charity. In the busyness of the preparations that followed I forgot that prayer until late Saturday night. After I'd finished my tasks for the day, I went to the adoration chapel and stopped moving for maybe the first time that day. As I prayed, I realized that God had answered that prayer. I had been so alive that whole weekend, constantly doing my utmost to carry out God's will and show His love to the retreatants, taking no consideration of myself. I couldn't ask for a more beautiful gift. He came that we might have life and have it to the full.

As this week has passed I've thought more about that experience of being fully alive and I'm comforted to realize that its not something that requires a life changing phone call from and HR office or an awesome Spirit filled retreat. Doubtless it is nothing but a grace of God, but its also a grace that He holds out to us everyday if we strive to live as the men and women He created us to be. As St.Catherine of Sienna said, "If you are what you should be, you will set the whole world on fire." That's our calling as Christians. As the theme from CA4 reminds us "You are the light of the world. A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket; it is set on a lampstand, where it gives light to all in the house. Just so, your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father."

So thank you to all of you who made the last weekend possible. To my awesome co-director Clare, to the whole staff and all of Campus Ministry. To the Rome staff who have given me an incredible opportunity. To my parents, 4-H leaders, and supervisors in the Admissions Office, who, among so many others, helped me develop the skills and talents required to be where I am now. And most of all thanks be to God from whom these blessings and all other good things come!

So, I know where I'm heading now (Rome), quo vadis, where are you going?