On days gone by

So maybe its just that I'm getting old, but it seems that in the past month there have been several times when I've caught myself looking back over old pictures or recalling old memories. Like today, I ran across a video the DJ made at the last CIA 4-H conference I helped plan in 2009. It was strange watching all those young kids jump around under the strobe lights, and crawl across the floor to the alligator line dance. It was almost surreal to see old friends dancing across the screen, many of whom I haven't seen in years. It was so odd to think back on those times; the things we worried about and got into arguments over on the State 4-H Council seem so irrelevant now. The drama that sometimes occupied our attention looks so petty in hindsight. And yet, the memory of the friendships and the people I served with are poignant. I remember that conference vividly; that was a good night. I worry about and pray for some of those people from time to time, the old friend that had so much talent but perhaps lost her way a little; the good, strong, driven partner in crime who has gone from success to success; the folks I barely knew and those that I stayed up all hours of the night talking to. Good people and good friends.

Since then we've all moved on and gone our separate ways. Those friendships have faded as we left and other young kids rose to take our place. There are a few beautiful exceptions though, people whom for whatever reason God has willed to leave on the same path as me for at least a while longer. Those friendships have certainly grown and changed since we first meet as teens but it has been such a blessing to watch each other become more and more the men and women God has created us to be.

Even among the framily, (the group of awesome young adults passionate about loving Christ and being Catholic that I run around with when I'm in Kansas) our friendships are different than they were 4 years ago when I entered college. This weekend I ran across a group picture from the first ever Manhattan weekend three years ago(see more examples of me being old and sentimental). We hung out for a couple days before classes started, went dancing, got doughnuts at 1:30am before heading to late night adoration, then woke up early the next morning to go to mass together and have a big homemade Sunday dinner. It was beautiful. Even among this group of close friends, a good number of whom I saw this past break things have changed. One is married, one's headed to seminary in the fall, two I've more or less lost touch with and with a few, I've been blessed to become much closer friends.

In all of this I'm struck by how much and how quickly life changes. All these moments I'm reminiscing on exist only in my memory and in the memories of those I shared them with. I will never again experience those same events. It reminds me of a post I wrote about sunsets a little over a year ago. I think I want to amend slightly what I wrote there though. While there's nothing we can do to hang on to these moments, which is fitting as they are not ours to keep, I think its been good for me to spend sometime reflecting on them especially as many of us are only a few days away from the beginning of our last semester of college. Thinking back over the blessings God has put in my life the last few years and the distance that exists between where I am now and where I was then, increases my resolve to live radically these last months of college. To throw myself headlong into my classes, my friendships, and into loving those around me. To offer up the little inconveniences of life and praise God for all the little blessings. To ignore the drama that will seem so petty in just a few years. But I also know from this brief recollection that all of this is meaningless without good friends and impossible to accomplish without the help of those God has placed around me. Sanctification is not achieved alone. So I want to ask for your help dear brothers and sister in Christ to live the way we were made to live. He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. If I know anything of my procrastinating and at times ill-motivated self its that I'll need all the help I can get to carry out this resolution in the coming months.

As I look back on that photo from our first Manhattan weekend, it reminds me a comment one of our adult friends wrote on it. He said, Seriously, awesome-we'll be able to look back at this photo in 10 years and say, "These people went out and changed the world." Its been incredible to think back this afternoon on the things God has done in our lives in the three years since that photo so I can't wait to see what He does with the next seven. I feel about ready to go out and change the world. You in? May our Momma Mary keep you always in her mantle.

As an end note, this blog is just a few days from being two years old and while I certainly haven't always been the best about posting consistently I want to get back to doing it more often. I've found that when I don't post I'm not only failing to share the experiences God puts in my life but I'm also not as thoughtful about the rough ideas and events of my life. So hopefully you'll hear from me more often in the future and until then, I'll see you in the Eucharist.