A Prayer Request

So I did not think that I would be writing a blog tonight. I was totally planning on going to sleep but God had other plans. Before turning in I checked one of the blogs I read by a Benedictine monk from Tulsa. Woah. His post really, really hit home for me and so I felt obliged to pass it along: http://vultus.stblogs.org/2011/04/come-to-me-and-drink.html. I figured I'd just put it up on facebook and then any kindred spirits that are struggling here through the last stage of Lent could go to it from there, but then I recognized that I could take the opportunity to share a little bit of myself and maybe on a more selfish note ask for your prayers as well.

The whole post just absolutely nailed me and what I've been experiencing the last week but this line especially described me:

Awareness of our sins should lead not to a loss of confidence in the Divine Mercy, but to a serene and trusting appeal for the pardon of Him "Who forgiveth all thy iniquities: who healeth all thy diseases. Who redeemeth thy life from destruction: who crowneth thee with mercy and compassion." (Psalm 102:3-4)

Its probably a mark of pride but the last few weeks my inability to rise above some habitual sins has really been a serious point of frustration for me. And instead of making my "trusting appeal" to God and His mercy, I have doubted, what else. Maybe not so much Divine Mercy directly as I doubted myself, my love for God (I've been through this before right? nope, stubborn German farmer that I am I have to learn every lesson 4 or 5 times at least before it starts to take hold).

"It is not too late to enter into Lenten repentance, not too late to begin one's Lent with humility and sincerity of heart. The workers of the eleventh hour will not be deprived of their reward at Pascha." This line also really encouraged me. I guess I've been feeling like I've been growing stagnant in my Lenten discipline the last few weeks and I really needed the Holy Spirit, via Fr. Mark, to send me the courage to start again.

So I'll finish with a prayer that the Holy Spirit will send you all the encouragement and the strength necessary to run the race these last two weeks of Lent so as to win, and I also, if I may, ask for your prayers that I accept with humility my brokenness as an opportunity to recognize, receive, and praise God's boundless Mercy.