Gratitude

So this could be kind of a rambly post. I don't really have one overwhelming idea like usual, just several things that I'm thankful for (3 to be exact), and a lot of joy. I wanted to reuse the title from my last post but I figured I could come up w/ something new. lol Anyways here are the graces God has been pouring into my life recently:

1. http://rzihashrimp.blogspot.com/ When I saw that my friend Cecilia Rziha had started a blog I was really excited. She is one of the deepest thinkers I've ever met; one of those folks who has given some thought to just about everything, an awesome woman of God. Not only that but God has used her blog to drop a couple Holy Spirit anvils on me already this year. I'm sure she's not going to appreciate this but a lamp is not lit to be hid under a bushel basket so go check it out.

2. Encouragement. The second thing I'm grateful for is tied to another friend's blog as well. A few weeks ago my friend Jackie posted a story she read. It totally nailed me:

"On the last day of our four-day trip, I told Jonathan we were going to drive to one of the lakes in the area. We weren't going to do the Mall or a show. He knew something was up and wasn't sure if he liked it. I pulled into a parking lot in our rental care and stopped next to the lake. Then I turned to my son and gave him a bit of a shock.
"Jonathon," I said, "let's trade places."
I paused, then went on. "I want you to get behind the wheel of this car and drive around the parking lot a bit.
Jonathan was stunned, especially because he is a bit of a rule keeper. "Dad - no! I am only twelve. I can't drive." I smiled and encouraged him that I would only have him drive around the parking lot for a few minutes. "Dad, I can't I am not big enough. This isn't good. Mom will not like this, Dad. Mom will not like this!"
When I finally talked him into it, he slipped into the driver's seat with fear and trembling. He slowly backed up, trying to imitate all he had seen me do over the years. Then he began rounding the parking lot. Before long, he was having fun. He's a boy, and like most boys he found driving a car natural and enticing. He was actually quite good at it, though I did stop him after a few minutes.
It was after this experience that a meaningful conversation ensued. I said, "Jonathan, how did you feel when you first took the wheel?"
He was honest. He acknowledged that he'd felt panicked, terrified that he couldn't do it."But you found out you could do it after all, didn't you?" I said.
When he agreed, I went on. "Jonathan, those feelings are exactly what you'll be feeling as you enter manhood. You will think you can't do it, that you don't know where you are going, but you won't want anyone to know how you're feeling. Being a man is a lot like taking the wheel of a car. You are no longer a passenger in life. You are a driver, responsible for getting to a destination and getting your passengers safely there as well. Growing up means becoming a drive instead of a passenger." http://aww-spiration.blogspot.com/2011/01/panicked-and-terrified-then-what.html

Jonathan made me laugh b/c I've been right there. I remember having similar arguments with my dad over driving the tractor and being terrified initially too. And in all honesty I feel like I'm still there in a way. My life has been crazy the last few months. With My Grandpa passing away in December, several friends getting either married or engaged, and summer internships deadlines looming I've been feeling a lot like the little kid in the story. I'm too young, too immature, too selfish...etc, to be making these big decisions, to be transitioning into the next phase of life. Through stories like this though, and through a hundred other little graces God's been reassuring me that with Him all things are possible, and for that I am forever grateful.

3. Father Roch and Theology of the Spiritual Life. This is the class I'm most excited about this semester. Fr. Roch is novice director for the Cistercians and around 80 years old with a thick Hungarian accent. To quote Fr. Roch's notes "the theology of the spiritual life is to be distinguished from other branches of theology not on the basis of its object but on the basis of the believing subject in whom the mysteries of faith become 'spirit and life.'" So basically, we're going to be guided by a saintly old monk in studying the lives of the saints, and reading some of the great spiritual writers of the church, with the goal not of gaining systematic knowledge, but of growing in holiness. Seriously?! I get college credit for this??? Awesome! This class is making me all the more grateful that God put a place like UD on the earth and then gave me the grace to stumble upon it.

So in summary: God is good! And while I'm still hopeless confused and wondering what the heck He is doing in my life and where He wants me to go, I know that He's the one in charge and that as stubborn as I am, I'm no match for Him. God bless, and quo vadis, where are you going?